Monday, 6 March 2017

something tells me..



Dear diary..
something tells me.. im gonna love him forever..
its just happen..

Myself..
keep telling me..
i need to love him harder..
love him harder..
and even more harder..
harder than this..

My heartbeats..
will just keep shouting his name..
through my vein..
I  guess its might explode..
if i didnt control it..

sounds funny huh?

no, its not funny at all..
im not making a joke..
coz my love is real...

If today i lose him..
i wont get him back by tomorrow..
the moment i lose him.. are the moment i will get him back..

seconds.. means everything to me..
i keep wanting him..
over and over again..

I might be crazy.. if i loss him..

I just want to feel this love like forever..

u know?
i had wrote.. hundreds of essays of him..
in my blog..
and this is.. one of it too..

Easy to remember, but hard to forget..
its the memories..

and tonight..
the 13th month of our relationship..

When im going through all of my blogs back then..
i remember the first word i wrote..
the first feeling i felt..till now..
"i miss you"
I keep shouting it ..
I keep telling it..
I keep saying it..

My hands .. my mouth.. my eyes..
wont stop telling you that..
"i love you so.."

cause dear, my love is real for you.. 


give me a chance.. 
a chance to have a life with him..
live with him.. 
a chance to love him forever..
a chance to kiss him every morning and everynight.. 
a chance take care him.. when he dont feel well.. 
a chance to be his whole world.. 
just.. 
please give a chance.. 

and..
if it didnt work.. 
i promise you..
i will be gone for good.. 
i promise you.. 
i wont disturb him.. anymore.. 
i wont be me.. 
me will be vanish forever.. 

so.. 
give me chance.. 
once is enough.. 
i promise you.. 
i wont want anything more..
than that.. 

jan.. i love you ❤😢 

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