Monday, 6 February 2017

first anniversary

Dear diary..
its 7th of february today..
and finally, its our anniversary today..
so sad lah, kami x sambut dh benda camni.. hmm..
dulu, i will always have a wish for every monthsary.. maybe its benda tu remeh.. so he doesnt want to wish it anymore.. so we just let it be right now..

but, this is a special case kan?
i will make u a wish for it..
happy anniversary bang.. ❤
u know, i miss u so much rn..
actually i really want to meet u on the anniversary night.. which is tonight..
but unfortunately..
i cant stay tawau on the last week..
ive only have a chance to stay only for lastweek..
yeahh.. i knew..
i knew it doesnt enough..
eventhough craving satisfied..
i just want him more n more..
i really hate leaving u on that night..
coz i wanna stay longer..

but its okay..
i have so much fun with u though..
we had a dinner outside..
for the first time..
we had shopping.. haha eventhough only at giant..
we chit chats.. along the road..
spend the night together..
almost the time.. we have laughs n smile.. i miss that time..

u know..
yup this one year..
i can say that, its really a though year..
theres sadness.. jealousy.. ego.. selfishness.. misunderstanding and happiness..
i knew, every relay will have all of this lahh kan..

Amjan to me..
he just become nothing , to something..
something great, something fun, something cool, something important, something special, something that i cant forget..
he is my brother..
my bestfriend..
my mom-like friend sometimes..
my boy..
my prince..
my superman..
and i say.. he just everything.. to me

he make me feel nothing to something bout him.. hahaha..
coz all of my first expression bout him were all wrong..
and now.. im gone insane with it..
he is lovable.. friendly.. too friendly.. sometimes its get me jealous.. hm hahaha.. sometimes he is a shy person..
a sweet person.. a strong man.. also a funny type of person.. and i guess thats make him so friendly..
all that i can say.. i love all about him ❤
#heismine hahajaha..

had i said that..
this one year.. its really a tough year..
ive never been in relay as long as this..
and now im glad.. coz finally its have been a year for us..
yahh.. its really hard to know bout him..
what he likes.. and dislikes..
when he feels angry.. sad.. or when the time he need comfort..
yahhh its really hard lahh..
but u know kan..
i just want to be a person..
yang dia bole cerita segala masalah nya ngan asfa..
if he have a goodday..
i want to be a person.. that he tell the first.. when he feel sad.. need comfort..
i just wanna stay with him..
i know.. im not with u everytime..
but bang.. i always care bout you..
i always want to know all bout ur life..
i always want u to be happy..

banyak kenangan yang indah kan bang.. ❤
everitime i remember all of our memories together..
its always cheer me up..
like when we first met..
our first date..
the first u hold my hand..
all of the jokes.. and laughs..
all of our pictures...

i miss him rn..
i really wanna hug him..
wanna touch him..
im craving him more...

abang Mohd Hamzan Jamaludin.. ❤
thanks for all the love..
for all the comforts..
all of happiness that u gave me..
i really want to celebrate it with you lastnight.. but its okay..
i tot maybe u re tired..
i miss hearing u read the memos..
im longing for it..
and everytime im sweating..
i will remember how u wipe my face..
how u wipe my mouth.. when im eating.. that burger..
asfa rindu juaaa kena suap.. oleh abang.. rindu juaa mau suap abang...
i miss him...
i just wanna be him rn..
tbh.. it kills me every night missing u..
but that actually the best part of my life.. at least i can love someone..

abang.. i will promise u..
i will keep my promise..
i had prove that now right?
i had been stayed loyal foer this one year with you... and im feeling happy.. coz i wanna keep my promise for the rest of my life.. and till the promise broke by itself..

yah.. i really want to be a person..
thats only u can find once in ur lifetime.. coz, i feel like that too..
u re once in my lifetime bang..
and i wanna stay forever..
i dont want to lose you..
i will wait u forever..
till u said that, u dont need me anymore.. then i will leave..
i want to be ur last so much..
i knew im not perfect..
im not that pretty..
im not that skinny..
im not that smart..
but i love u..
i miss you.. every single seconds..of my life..
the memories wont fade.. inside of me..
and u know how i love u so..

asfa tau lahh..
and asfa takut juaa lahh..
memang byk lahh org couple bbrapa tahun kan.. then break..
yup seriously.. im afraid with all that rumors...
but i wont give up on you..
i will hold you..
keep holding you..
i still remember ur words...
" apapun yg jadi dengan abang..
please stay ngan abang "..
yahh i said yes..
i will stay.. coz that the best part of my life.. i had a chance to love you..
trust me..

lastnight kan..
im dreaming bout him..
im hearing someone coughing.. right next to me..
and as soon as i open my eyes..
i see him coughing because of the fan are too fast for him..
he is actually laying beside of me..
lepas matikan kipas..
asfa selimutkan diaa..
and i hug him..
and tap his back...
its feel so warmm...
dunno lah.. whenever i miss him..
i just wanna go to sleep.. right away..
maybe, at least i can meet you in my dreams.. and yahh i really did..
coz that the least i can do...

oke.. my hopes for this new days with you..
i hope that we can be together for everything..
asfa harap.. asfa tak ulang lagi kesalahan sebelum ni.. and i really want to get rid of it..
i hope we can build even more happy moments.. this time..
and i just want him to meet my family soon.. and i want to his parents soon too.. i hope all the best are with us..
let the love be forever.. ❤ between us..

bang.. please.. never givup on me..
stay with me.. be strong with me..
never ever forget me..

i love you one
i love you two
i love you forever ❤
stay healthy.. be great.. be cool.. be awesome.. never change.. coz i love you now..and forever.. dont break my trust on you..

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