Wednesday, 13 July 2016

trough all the pains.. I will stay

Dear diary... 
dahh enam hari dahh amjan kat semenanjung.. 

I know dia busy ..
and I guess maybe he won't read my blog.. anymore.. 

good to hear that he's alright..
dia sihat.. 
asfa nemau sedih².. 
even though.. mmg stiap hari kuar airmata ni.. 
but .. airmata tu.. bukn tanda. seseorang tu lemah..  tu petnda.. she's try to keep strong..

amjan sesibuk mana pun..
kalau sampai berbulan2 dia tak text or.. call pun.. 
I still gonna trust him.. with all my heart.. I'm still stay loyal.. 
I won't leave him.. 
sampai dia sendiri yg lepskn asfa...
even sampai hujung hayat asfa...
kalau mmg dh xda jodoh..
mmg bukn takdir..
asfa nak jugak ngn amjan..

hope jaa lah.. 
kami pnjg umo..
and then in the future.. dapat salam
tgn amjan.. kiss his cheeks.. and I'm gonna hug him.. and won't let him go.. further again.. 

I still gonna fight for this relay.. 
even though there's a million thoughts or problems that I'm gonna solve..
I will keep holding his hands.. 
till the last blood of my life.. 
of my soul..
I won't leave him.. 

sekrg nii.. asfa nemau dahh ganggu amjan.. 
I don't want him to waste his time just for me.. 
I want him to be success .. 
I will just keep remind him..
to stay healthy.. and be positive.. 

I hope.. he always remember that.. 
I'm still here .. waiting ..

yahhh there's a lot of things I want to share to him.. 
but at the same time I won't.. 
I don't want to distract his focus..

mmg rasaa sunyi gilaa.. arr
tiada buat apa²..
asfa baca novel.. tgok phone.. or nonton..
tiada dh selera asfa mkn.. 
tapi asfa sihat jugaaa..

asfa .. kena biasakn diri dh
asfa takle dhh.. tecari² amjan mcm dulu..
asfa tak nak spam dia dh...

bila telampau rindu kan?
tu yang selalu buat asfa kuar airmata tu
asfa akan buka record amjan
and stiap record nyaa asfa bls balik.
for example..
when he said " jaga makan.. jaga hati"
I will said.." u too"
and when he said.. " tumbuk kau ni"
I will said .. " tumbuklahhh"
and that things make me smile again..
rasa macam.. asfa otp juaak lah ngn amjan.. walaupun sebnrnya recording jak.. but its okay..
and.. every songs that I hear..
I'm still searching for his voices.. at the end of the day.. 
just please.. kalau umo asfa tak pnjg..
at least.. before I close my eyes forever..
and this heartbeat.. till all the blood r stop working through my veins.. 
let me see him once.. 
just once.. 
just wanna say
" u re special.. I won't forget you.. 
I love you amjan"
and then u can take me.. 

real love.. takes time right?
so.. I'm just gonna wait.. 
till he come back .. to my arms..

"I love you... 
and all of my little heartbeats ..
keep screaming .. missing you.. 
and ur love will always remain in my soul.. " nurasfa~

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