Friday, 29 July 2016

thoughts

Dear diary...
mcm rasa lama dh x post..
maybe sbb tiada jugaa apa² berlaku..
its just I can't express my feelings too much.. I hate it.. coz people will easily misunderstood .. buhuu..

but tonight..
I'm just kinda sad..
yaahh since morning.. I got a nightmare.. asfa mimpi org meninggal gik.. asfa takut sbnarnya..
u know.. I can feel my tears.. in the morning.. bsah pipi..
and.. rasa sangat besyukur..
asfa cuma mimpi..
I'm afraid.. coz dua kali dh asfa mimpi benda camni.. asfa takut..
takut tu petanda ke apa ke..

and what makes me sad even more?
asfa sedih ehh tgok IBU..
ibu skang kena solat duduk dahh..
and I feel like..
apa je lah slama ni aq buat..
masih jugaaa begantung ngn mak bapak.. asfa mrh ngn diri sendiri..
coz.. my parents getting older..
and I can't show them any progress of myself.. and lg² .. nak kuar upu..
ya Allah.. permudahkanlah .. amiin..
sedih wehh...
sedih sesangat..

and that's why lahhh.. td
asfa gi spend abh n akak asfa ..
but Kakak menolak lah.. coz dia kata asfa tak keja pun.. tak yah lah nak spend..
asfa cuma rasa besalah jaa..
I make my whole family even harder..
that's all.. and at this time..
this just only what that can I do..

hurmm..
and the whole day..
cepat jaa masa belalu..
u know guys ... maybe asfa jrg dh cerita sal amjan kan ..
we r just fine right now..
its just.  I can't bother him..
lgpun.. dsbbkn lama dahh x call n chat kan...
entahlahh.. asfa rasa awkward dhh..
I miss him damn much.. everidayyy..
I'm still the same me...
im just feeling broken rn...
think bout my future and my parents..
and I don't want to bother him wif my own probs..
dia text jee pon.. asfa happy dahh..
love you sayang.. ❤

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