Saturday, 14 May 2016

I hope I'm better now

Dear diary..
I just got a very beautiful.. dreams this morning..
how I hope it's my reality...
I just can feel my excitement..
but its only a dream...

u know.. this heart beating..?
I just felt it since this morning...
ehh no.. since I love him..
kekadang.. asfa netaulah..
every of my dreams.. always related to him..
every songs.. every quotes.. every love story..
setiap hari befikir.. how's this relay.. gonna end? is it gonna be forever?

I love him.. more than myself..
yeah.. asfa mmg seorang yg sng dipergunakan.. but I know.. who im  in love with.. he's just not a man.. but a prince inside..
kalu yaa pon kami bukan jodoh.. pd masa dpn t.. I hope I can choose.. someone whose gonna be his future.. wife.. who is better than me.. beautiful than me.. caring than me..
but I still hope that.. it is me.. 😞
I don't think that.. I can move on...
although.. I had so much crushes.. I will still choose him..

when ur first ex.. just gone forever...
u learn from it.. and be better for the next one.. but the ur second chance.. just not suits u.. u re not enough for him.. so u try to accept for who u re.. and keep on move on...
when u just fall for the third guy..
u just give all of u got for him..
u ve been strong..
patience.. understand.. loyal..
u just.. doing it all.. at once.. just for him.. and I don't think.. I need to find the fourth guy.. coz.. u will think that..
just a waste of time..
coz.. every break up.. u re not u anymore..

I just want.. to keep all of my feelings inside.. and just be quiet from now..
but u know.. its hurt...
just like in the film "our times"
Hsu Taiyu.. my idol.. sometimes.. reminds me bout him " amjan"
do u know guys.. sometimes.. the right man.. r just nearby..
open ur eyes...
don't spoil ur future...

its our fourth month now...
rasa happy jak kan.. x sangka lah jugak..
bole selama ni ...
dia x bosan kah eh ngn asfa?
takut jak.. lama² t.. dia akan muak dgn segala perhatian yg asfa beri..
asfa x tahu pun apa yg dia fikir..
yeah.. I got so many questions for him..
actually sometimes.. in a question.. there's another questions.. but.. many people don't realized it..

asfa pena rasa menyesal... kecewa..
and I don't want to experience it anymore.. no.. not with him..

dia ni x suka didesak...
kalau benda tuu dia tak nak buat..
yeah.. he won't do it!!!
unless lah.. miracles happen.. 😂
yup sometimes.. kecil hati lah jugak ngn perangainya.. but u know.. nobody's perfect.. x kisah pon.. abaikan jak...

asfa ni.. mmg jarang mrh n merajuk..
but.. if I did... maybe benda yg terjadi tu.. mmg buruk lah.. and till now.. I can't forget bout tragedy happen in the Hosp. sorry lah.. it just hurts me so bad..
and bcoz of that.. I made a request..
takut jak.. something bad might happen.. coz I can't control my feelings anymore.. takut jak.. asfa jd mcm dulu lg... please lah hati... jgn berubah please.. jgn sakitkn hati amjan.. please..
sabar syak lah... for our own good k..
jgn jd cam 3 taun lalu k... I just hate myself.!!!

dhlh.. asfa mok ganggu amjan tido..
hahahaha.. bye guys. btw good morning... love u.

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