Sunday, 24 September 2017

i know u, and i love u

Dear diary..
its 7 am ..
and know what im doing?
im waiting him to wake up hee..
but i guess.. he will wake up maybe at 8am+.. i guess so..
coz today.. is his holiday..

tapi sokaylah..
he deserve the holidays..
mesti dia penat kan..
selama berminggu2 keja ni..
kalau asfa cuti dia masi jugak keja..
so, kalau memang betul asfa sakit mcm ni pun..
asfa nak dia rehat jak..
asfa nak masakkan masakan kegemaran dia time dia cuti..
so.. dia gembira hee..

asfa kena jugak kuat..
asfa sakit macam mn pun.. asfa kena jugak kuat..

asfa tak kesah pun..
kalau asfa yang sakit..
yang asfa kesah kalau dia yang sakit..
it will hurt my soul so much..
and.. i will be so worried all day long..

no lah..
i just dont want to lose someone who i really, really love..
asfa dah cukup bahagia dah dengan dia..
dan asfa tak cari apa apa lagi dah..
dia pun dah cukup..

dialah tempat..
dimana semua kesedihan, tangisan dan segala keraguan..
akan menjadi kebahagiaan, kegembiraan..

hati asfa milik dia..
dan asfa harap pun.. bg dia pun macam tu..

asfa percaya kan dia..
sekarang, asfa tak kesah dah kalau ada pempuan lain urat or goda dia ka..
asfa tau dia takkan tinggalkan asfa juga.. or duakan asfa..
tapi tu lahh.. kalau ada pempuan tapuji nonstop goda dia.. kata usaha tangga kejayaan tu semua.. memang aq sepak jugak dia tu.. !

oke haha.. sorry emosi..
and amjan belum bangun lagi.. haha

btw, love you. ❤

Wednesday, 13 September 2017

missing ur presence

     Dear diary..
i really miss him

i just can smile eventhough.. my nose were wet

and.. even a sudden change on the way he chats me..
the way he reply me..
the way his sounds..
his words..
really makes me worried..

yes i try to not think bout him a lot..
like i usually do..
i try to just chillax..
like not over worried..
but i cant..

this morning.. pun
when he like.. reply me just a simple word..
emoji or something just like.."ok".. "yaa"
really made me badmood..
really.. all the mood on today will just gone like that..
sometimes i feel terrible..
like i really want attention from him..
like always..

i miss him..
when he calls me.. every morning..
before he goes to work..
when he will reply..spontaneously..
and all the chats that makes me.. smile and giggle..
am i too selfish?
 or maybe.. i dont give him all he deserves?

sokay lah..
i just dont want to overthink again..
i just hope that..
he still him..

the one who im in love with..
the one who gonna be my future..
thats all i hope..

love you.

Wednesday, 6 September 2017

Not a goidnight sleep i guess

Dear diary..
I guess.. For tonight and so on..
I cant hv my goodnight sleep..
I really cant sleep

Theres a night..
I cried so hard in a dream..
When i got a phone call from him..
But he doesnt even answer..
And.. When i call him..
Over and over again..
He just wont answer it..
My texts .. My messages ..

Im always curious..
On how long he will loves me..

And i wish.. I just the girl on earth..
I wish.. His eyes can only see me as a girl.. And others he will see like a monsters..

I wish.. We both were a north and south magnet..
Where we can come to each other.. Using our magnet powers to be together..

U know..
Im always see u in my everyday life..
Im always think bout u..
Always imagine bout u..
When i went to shopping..
I will taught that.. Maybe Amjan will like this..?
Sometimes .. When i saw a happy married couples..
I will imagine that.  They were us..
Wearing the same tshirt.
Spend eating with their family..
And.. For some reason..
Whenever i see the sky..
I will directly think of u..
Yeahh.. Coz maybe u always makes me calm as much the sky do..
Same goes to the rain..
It reminds me... How cozy and warm ur body was..
And the nights.. I will enjoy spend my time remembering all of our night dates..

I miss u Jan..
I knew u re tired..
Rest well.. Sleep well..
Love you ❤

Tuesday, 5 September 2017

A dream..

Dear diary..
I miss him more and more..
And that morning call todayreally makes me so happy..

And like i said..
I did sleeping after the phone call hihii..
And im feeling lucky..
Coz i dream bout him..

I dream he being younger than me..
In highschool.. Haha
My sister also hv the same school as me..
We are eating..
We are resting together..
And we also wait for the school bus..
In that dream..
Im much older than him..
But my feeling for him..
Not even changing..
I still know he is my man..
Eventhough he is young..
I recognize him..
I miss him so much..
And i kiss him on his forehead..
And on his cheeck..
Then my sister saw..
That im kissing him hahaha..
She nagging and mad at me..
So i just said that..
He just a young boy..
But.. For sure he is my man..

Its quite a short dream..
Yet, its full my heart for him..

I really miss him so much..
Wont even stop doing it..
Till my last breath ❤

Sunday, 3 September 2017

Aku sanggup..

Dear diary..
Asfa rasa diri asfa kejam.. Dan teruk ni..
Asfa sampai buat dia stress sampai sakit macam ni..

Yaa.. Terus teranglah..
Kalau dulu, memang asfa akan tahan..
Tapi sekarang.. Asfa memang tak boleh dah nak tipu diri sendiri..
Sebab asfa nemau dah memendam..
Kalau asfa pendam macam dulu..
Memang hayat hubungan ni sekejap jak.. I cant do this alone.. I need him to understand me too..

Asfa pun tak boleh buat benda tu..
Kalau buat benda tu..
Memang asfa yakin.. Asfa akan lebih jauh dari dia..
Sebab dengan berdiam.. Asfa akan menikmati hidup tanpa dia..
Dan benda tu asfa tak suka..
Asfa takut terbiasa dengan berdiam..

Asfa nemau dia stress lagi..
Nemau dia sedih..
Asfa cuba mau faham dia..
Namun.. Asfa yang tak faham dengan diri asfa sendiri..

Dunno lah..
Asfa mungkin terlampau byk fikir..
I just so stress on how to survive another semester in Uni..
With all the syllabus.. And days of tired and struggling.. Not forget with the activities..

Asf stress jugak.. Fikir macam mana nak jumpa dia..
And.. When i cant do what i want..
I will get emosional..
I guess.. That what he want to tell me..

Yaa.. Asfa pun stress..
Asfa setiap hari fikir benda tu..
Kalau boleh.. Asfa nemau jak fikir benda tu..

Tapi apa boleh buat kan..
Memang tu kenyataan nya..

Btw.. Cepat sembuh Jan..
Sorry for all the struggles and problems..
Sorry.. For all my faults..

Sesakit mana pun hati ni..
I will always stay strong for u..
As long as u happy.. And u r not hurt..

Love u (^_^)
Blinking Domo