Sunday, 8 October 2017

i just can say i love you

Dear diary,
" wise man said, only fools rush in"
but u know, i cant help falling in love with him...

i miss him so much..
i love him so much..
my love for him..
just like the river flows..
it will never stop flowing in my heart..
never stop flowing in blood..

i hope he will hold my hand till the last..
till the last of my breath..
i just really afraid..
if someday.. i wont have anymore time to meet him.. to see him.. with my own eyes..

seeing him through the video call today.. yeah..
i guess i almost in tears..
when i see him.. sleeping..
i really miss when..
he feels sleepy in the car..
and he lie on the car seat...
and.. i just lie on his lap..
and.. he hold my head..
and.. i see him.. sleeping...

i guess..
no.. not i guess..
i really cant forget him..
and if he leave me..
i guess i will never can forgive..

coz.. i love him too deep
more deep than the depth of the ocean

i just can say..
if u wanna go..
please bring me too..
im begging.. dont leave me..

love you ❤

Wednesday, 4 October 2017

as u know, im always miss you

Dear diary...
i miss him too.. so much..
eventhough im in the class rn,
i cant hold up my tears..

u know..
at first mmg susah lah nak biasakan semua ni..
sebab asfa nak chat dengan dia selalu
nak dengar suara dia selalu..
nak disamping dia selalu..

asfa pun tak tahu napa dia selalu tanya.. asfa rindu atau tak..
asfa teramat sangat rindukan dia..

asfa selalu dah tidur awal sekarang..
maybe on weekend jak lahh asfa tidur lewat.. mcm ari jumaat, sabtu n ahad..

cerita asfa belum habis pun semalam dengan dia..
tapi tu lah.. maybe dia ada keja lain jugak kan..
and lambat balas text..
memang mengantuk sangat suda asfa rasa..

asfa belum bgtau,..
semua saat bersama dia buat asfa senyum.. dan gembira..

jalan bersebelahan dengan dia..
makan berhadapan dengan nya..
duduk di samping nya..
merenung muka dia.. lama2..
then tersenyum sama2...

yang paling asfa rindu..
sifat pemalu dan manja dia..
kadang sifat nya buat asfa sendiri cair..
walaupun dia tak buat apa2 pun..

too much love..
too much memories..

love you sayang.. ❤

Sunday, 24 September 2017

i know u, and i love u

Dear diary..
its 7 am ..
and know what im doing?
im waiting him to wake up hee..
but i guess.. he will wake up maybe at 8am+.. i guess so..
coz today.. is his holiday..

tapi sokaylah..
he deserve the holidays..
mesti dia penat kan..
selama berminggu2 keja ni..
kalau asfa cuti dia masi jugak keja..
so, kalau memang betul asfa sakit mcm ni pun..
asfa nak dia rehat jak..
asfa nak masakkan masakan kegemaran dia time dia cuti..
so.. dia gembira hee..

asfa kena jugak kuat..
asfa sakit macam mn pun.. asfa kena jugak kuat..

asfa tak kesah pun..
kalau asfa yang sakit..
yang asfa kesah kalau dia yang sakit..
it will hurt my soul so much..
and.. i will be so worried all day long..

no lah..
i just dont want to lose someone who i really, really love..
asfa dah cukup bahagia dah dengan dia..
dan asfa tak cari apa apa lagi dah..
dia pun dah cukup..

dialah tempat..
dimana semua kesedihan, tangisan dan segala keraguan..
akan menjadi kebahagiaan, kegembiraan..

hati asfa milik dia..
dan asfa harap pun.. bg dia pun macam tu..

asfa percaya kan dia..
sekarang, asfa tak kesah dah kalau ada pempuan lain urat or goda dia ka..
asfa tau dia takkan tinggalkan asfa juga.. or duakan asfa..
tapi tu lahh.. kalau ada pempuan tapuji nonstop goda dia.. kata usaha tangga kejayaan tu semua.. memang aq sepak jugak dia tu.. !

oke haha.. sorry emosi..
and amjan belum bangun lagi.. haha

btw, love you. ❤

Wednesday, 13 September 2017

missing ur presence

     Dear diary..
i really miss him

i just can smile eventhough.. my nose were wet

and.. even a sudden change on the way he chats me..
the way he reply me..
the way his sounds..
his words..
really makes me worried..

yes i try to not think bout him a lot..
like i usually do..
i try to just chillax..
like not over worried..
but i cant..

this morning.. pun
when he like.. reply me just a simple word..
emoji or something just like.."ok".. "yaa"
really made me badmood..
really.. all the mood on today will just gone like that..
sometimes i feel terrible..
like i really want attention from him..
like always..

i miss him..
when he calls me.. every morning..
before he goes to work..
when he will reply..spontaneously..
and all the chats that makes me.. smile and giggle..
am i too selfish?
 or maybe.. i dont give him all he deserves?

sokay lah..
i just dont want to overthink again..
i just hope that..
he still him..

the one who im in love with..
the one who gonna be my future..
thats all i hope..

love you.

Wednesday, 6 September 2017

Not a goidnight sleep i guess

Dear diary..
I guess.. For tonight and so on..
I cant hv my goodnight sleep..
I really cant sleep

Theres a night..
I cried so hard in a dream..
When i got a phone call from him..
But he doesnt even answer..
And.. When i call him..
Over and over again..
He just wont answer it..
My texts .. My messages ..

Im always curious..
On how long he will loves me..

And i wish.. I just the girl on earth..
I wish.. His eyes can only see me as a girl.. And others he will see like a monsters..

I wish.. We both were a north and south magnet..
Where we can come to each other.. Using our magnet powers to be together..

U know..
Im always see u in my everyday life..
Im always think bout u..
Always imagine bout u..
When i went to shopping..
I will taught that.. Maybe Amjan will like this..?
Sometimes .. When i saw a happy married couples..
I will imagine that.  They were us..
Wearing the same tshirt.
Spend eating with their family..
And.. For some reason..
Whenever i see the sky..
I will directly think of u..
Yeahh.. Coz maybe u always makes me calm as much the sky do..
Same goes to the rain..
It reminds me... How cozy and warm ur body was..
And the nights.. I will enjoy spend my time remembering all of our night dates..

I miss u Jan..
I knew u re tired..
Rest well.. Sleep well..
Love you ❤

Blinking Domo