Wednesday, 22 November 2017

i just want to meet him..

Dear diary.. 
for real.. whenever we miss someone.. 
we really want to meet him in person.. 
we want him standing right in front of us.. 

yeah, i really want to go back, to meet him.. im not joking.. 
im not worry about my money or anything.. i just want to meet him as soon as possible.. 
no lah.. i just want to spend my time with him.. im just worried that we dont have any time to meet on my sem break.. 
and yes if i didnt have the chance to meet him.. its gonna be worse..
coz.. soon he will return to Penang already...

i really want to meet him.. on this last month.. yeah u can say that its okay..
im just worried, when the times it will be not okay..

yeah i know..
u must be worried about my bajet..
im working just to get the money..
sokaylah sayang..
i know u wont allow me to do this..
but if u change ur mind..
do tell me..
love you sayang ..
never forget me in your days..
miss u so much..

Tuesday, 21 November 2017

rindu sangat

Dear diary.. 
harini asfa macam tiada mood jaa.. 
no lahh i miss him so much.. 
i really want to meet him.. 

dari tadi tengah hari asfa baring jak..
telelap , tebangun and telelap balik.. 
asfa tunggu dia balik.. 
but now maybe dia tengah lepak dah.. 
so thats why im here.. 
isi kekosongan yang ada.. 

loving him is just like a drug.. 
you wont stop loving him
and like everyday i want that attention from him.. 
and when u didnt get it.. 
it will be misery.. 

im so wish that he wont meet any girl better than me.. 
but, eventhough he met someone.. 
i hope he still stay.. 

cause im just will be on my own when he left.. and he will take away half of my life.. 

here, at the university.. 
i like dont care what people think and say about me.. 
even if im all messy.. 
cause im just care for him.. 
it will be better if im hurt, than him..

i know he will be home late again..
sokaylah.. asfa akan tunggu.. 

if im make u feel awful.. 
please let me correct it.. 
and do tell me when im not understand about you.. 

dont let me know nothing bout you.. 

love you.. 
stay strong and healthy.. ❤


Monday, 20 November 2017

my love for him

Dear diary
i miss him so much.. 
even in nearest place with him.. 
still im missing him.. 

i miss him when my eyes wide open.. 
even when my eyes were close tightly..
i still can feel it my heart aching..
im just born to love him and miss him entire of my life.. 

i miss the way he smile look at me.. 
no even one person can smile more sweet and more calm than him.. 
that just heaven for me.. no

and his hands.. 
the warmest place ever.. 
the comfortable place.. ive ever feel.. 
feel secure and safe.. in his arms.. 

even in my worst days.. 
he just the one that can remove all the creepy clouds and thunder above me.. 

for sure.. i really miss him.. 
dunno lah.. its just im really addicted with him.. 
im just so in love with him

and i wish i have the power to fulfill all of his wishes..
i really want to see him happy..
and live just the way he deserve to be..
get all he wanted.. and be what the best for him...

yeahh maybe im the one will hurt him the most, but for sure coz i love him the most..

i just can give my whole life with him..
i wish.. we had a longer life Jan..
coz one of the best to live in this world is to be love and stay with you..

i know.. if he not with me..
i just can do one thing..
i just can cry
and through out those days  
u would see my eyes swollen..
coz i will cry every night.. just to feel better.. but it will become even worst for the next day..

you know what will happen if he left?
theres will be no me anymore..
that will be the last day i will be me..
the cheerful and fun of me..
life without him will be like lifeless..
yeahh maybe i will continue with my normal life.. but it will be hard to see me smile again..

im just so love him..
even if he cheats on me.. or worse i will even can forgive him..
yeah.. cause my heart just for him..
just like an apple tree..
u can just do anything to it ..
u can pull of the leafs one by one..
u can chop it, u even can kick it as hard as u like.. as long as the tree alive..
she will always love you and wait for you.. waiting for you to come to her..

i will be stronger and thougher..
for you..

you know why i really want to be skinny?..
i just want him to touch my waist more comfortly..
i just want to lost that fatty on my waist.. and have a nice curve..
and i want to be beautiful just for him..
and just want to show people i deserve him.. thats all..
that were the things that i might thought through out the time when im on jogging track..

this will be my 3rd week of jogging..
and now i can run faster.. faster than i can believe myself..

i just cant wait to return home just to see him.. to kiss him.. to hug him..

its gonna be the last month of this year.. soon..

Jan.. i know i cant meet another person than you in my life..
and i will take this opportunity to love you.. yeah i know, u might have a lots of problems staying with me.. i just can do better.. and i hope u can wait for me.. cause im gonna wait you entire of my life.. when no one want to hear you, when no one want to comfort, or when u want a shoulder to cry on.. you can call me.. and i will try my best to be there for you..

love you ❤

Saturday, 28 October 2017

sayang kini dan selamanya..

Dear diary..
bahagia nya dapat dengar suara dia pagi2 lagi.  :)

sebenarnya..
asfa pun tak sangka yang asfa akan sebahagia ini..
yalahh bila diri telah benar benar rasa apa erti kehilangan yang sebenanrnya.. kehilangan yang tidak akan kembali, diri sendiri akan lebih memahami erti setia.. namun bila orang yang kedua tu.. kau harapkan dapat bahagiakan diri kau.. dan tidak menjadi seperti yang kau harapkan.. memang rasa teramat sangat jatuh dan kehilangan yang teruk.. rasa sunyi dan rasa diri terlalu tidak berguna..

tiada tempat untuk bercerita..
tiada tempat untuk ketawa dan bermanja.. tiada tempat untuk mencintai dan dicintai...
itu yang Asfa kurang..
itulah yang Asfa sangat harapkan..
Asfa cuma memerlukan kesetiaan.. drpd seseorang..

Namun..
apa yang fikir..
setelah semua kepahitan itu..
Asfa berharap sangat..
berharap ada seorang yang akan datang dalam hidup asfa..
dan jika dia seorang yang setia.. dengan asfa.. asfa akan cuba apa pun demi orang tu bahagia... dan akan memberikan semua yang dia layak untuk miliki.. itu harapan Asfa..

dan..
datanglah dia..
mangsa Asfa haha..
nda baa.. datanglah seorang insan yang amat bertuah itu..
seorang yang asfa tunggu2..
seorang yang asfa nanti nantikan sejak sekian lama..
rupanya.. tahun 2016 baru dia datang hahahaha..

Dia seorang yang manis..
manis senyuman nya..
penyanyang.. dan hensem..

macam nda tau kan siapa.. hahaha..
Amjan baa...
Mohd Hamzan Jamaludin..
jantung hati asfa...
kekasih dan insyaallah akan menjadi peneman sehidup semati dengan Asfa..

dan sememangnya.. apa yang asfa telah katakan pada awal tadi..
alhamdulillah.. semua nya asfa dapat daripada dia... :)
asfa ada tempat bemanja...
asfa ada tempat untuk bercerita...
asfa ada tempat untuk bersedih..
asfa dapat mencintai dan mencintai sepenuh hati asfa...

dan.. semua masa lalu asfa tu.. semua kepahitan yang asfa alami tu.. asfa dah tak kesah dah...
asfa rasa sangat bahagia sudah dengan dia.. dan asfa cuma inginkan dan sangat memerlukan kasih dan perhatian dia..
dan asfa juga akan berikan dan menunaikan semua permintaan dia..

semua kenangan dengan dia..
semakin hari semakin bertambah...
dan semakin hari... semakin sayang dan semakin kasih..
yalahh walaupun kami almost 2 tahun..
rasa rindu tu dan rasa sayang tu tak pernah berubah.. bertambah jak..
and alhamdulillah.. kami masi bersama.. still in relationship..

hope kekal sampai bila2.. amiin.. ❤


love you.. Amjan..

Friday, 27 October 2017

amjan n me, just me and just amjan..

Dear diary..
u know..
im really feel happy right now..
rasa lega sangat bila dapat dengar suara dia haha..
asfa menangis ..
menangis kegembiraan..
sebab dia masih sayang dengan asfa..

i miss him
i miss him so much..
so damn much..

im waiting..
waiting.. and waiting for his chats lastnights.. waiting for his calls..
and sampai alarm pun asfa sangka dia call.. and benda tu buat asfa lagi sedih..
sebab bukan dia...

rasa lega jugak sebab dapat dengar suara ketawa dia..
dengar suara nakal dia..
dengar dia berdengkur..
hope u sleep well..

i've tried so many things lastnight..
to overcome my sadness..
i tweet so much.. keep liking some weird things.. watch some weird things.. yeah and im overdose with my medicine.. sorry..
i keep open the ws..
i keep open ur twitter..
i keep seeing ur facebook..
i whispered..
please dont go..
please call me..
please text me..

i just post my selfie..
hope that u miss me..

jan.. please dont do that again..
asfa sanggup lagi kalau abg marah asfa.. lepaskan lah semua..
but please dont ignore me..
i miss you..

i miss u too..
kalau tu perempuan kacau abg lagi.. gitau asfa yaa..
kalau kedua kali dia text tu..
tu memang mau kena penampar..
yalah.. mana bole perempuan lain chat abg selain asfa.. hmm marah ni..

btw.. love you amjan..
selamat malam..
mimpi indah..

dont worry k..
i will just always love you..
just you..

Blinking Domo